Wednesday, July 13, 2011
love: some perspectives
I am not a very "lovey dovey" kind of person, nor have I ever been very good at articulating the way I feel into words. You wont often find me in a philosophical conversation about what love is, or giving out love life advice to people. I have always been jealous of the way some people can express their intimate feelings in such a beautiful and poetic way. Despite all this I found myself on the weekend in two different conversations about the complexities of relationships.
One of these conversations was with Brendan's dad and the other with my mum - two people who I trust know a lot about the topic despite being in two very different situations. Brendan's parents have been together for nearly thirty years and are very much in love whilst unfortunately my parents are in the middle of a separation. For some reason both there trains of thought really struck home with me and I thought I would share.
Brendan's dad said we all need to realise that relationships can be hard work, that at times things can be tough and its all not a bed of roses but at the end of the day it comes down to whether or not the person your with is a good person and that they treat you well and that you can go to bed smiling. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes but at the end of the day we have to go back to basics, is this person good and do I love them? If the answer is yes than it is most likely worth working for.
My mums advice followed very similar lines, she said you can never go into a relationship thinking you can change someone. The person your with now, is the person they will be in thirty years time. If you can accept their faults and they yours, that's a good start as it leaves plenty of time to concentrate on the things you love about them.
Take from this what you will, I just found it really interesting listening to their different perspectives and being able to take it and apply it to my relationship. As for what I think... I am not perfect and either is Brendan but all the time I find new things about him to fall in love with and I think that is pretty special.
P.S This give away ends tomorrow, don't forget to enter ♥