Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Taming the green eyed monster


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We have all been there, a friend or family member is gushing over their fabulous news and through a perfected fake smile we congratulate them when in reality our heads are screaming why not me?

Jealousy for me is one of the most confronting and uncomfortable emotions to experience. One because it just isn’t me, I truly want the best for people I love in my life and secondly because jealousy is quickly followed by other awful feelings such as guilt and shame for allowing ourselves to feel this way.

Whilst I don’t get jealous very often I often find it quite overwhelming when I do and it makes me start evaluating a lot of the things I am doing. To get a handle of the green eyed monster I have devised a plan of action that I thought I would share, because admit it or not jealousy bites us all every now and again.

-           Do not meet someone else’s fantastic news with scepticism or a backhanded compliment. To make ourselves feel better we sometimes retaliate to someone’s good news with a nasty tone or a comment that makes them think twice about their achievement. As hard as it might be at the time grit your teeth and be happy (or at least convey happiness) in what that person has achieved- you will be thankful you didn’t act like a spoilt brat later.

-            If you feel like you might explode (i.e how the hell did that person get that job promotion over me) remove yourself from the situation – it is only going to make you feel worse and possibly say something you regret.

-            Acknowledge that what you are feeling is jealousy – recognising and admitting jealousy is hard but it’s a normal emotion, part of being human, recognise it and then deal with it.

-           Figure out what is making you jealous – more often than not (for me) it is realising that I have goals that I want to make happen and I might not quite be there yet and it is hard to hear about people who are reaching their goals quicker than me. Figuring this out can help you refocus the emotions you should actually be experiencing.

-           Turn jealousy in to positive energy – ok so you might not be quite where you want to be yet but turn that jealousy into motivation – refocus and go for gold one day it will be you sharing that good news with everyone else!

      How do you deal with jealousy when it strikes?

7 comments:

  1. It's tough! I tend not to be a jealous person but I do have my moments and I think it's best to just ride the wave. And I agree with you, definitely try and turn it into positive energy!

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  2. I read this at the perfect time! I have been quite jealous lately. I definitely try to turn jealousy into positive energy. I also think about what I DO have or have accomplished that make me feel better. Being grateful to be where I am and think how it could be worse usually work too! And when all else fails, there's always chocolate!
    I'm #500!

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  3. a very mature, measured post. jealousy is tough, i try and get myself out of the box and onto positive thoughts instead! xx

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  4. You have some great advice there! I may need to take heed of some of them, especially turning my jealousy into something positive.

    Now I am a pessimist and cynic by nature, so it takes a great amount of conscientious effort to switch things about into something good and nice. I'm definitely working on it, and guess what, reading lovely blogs is quite a good exercise for this :D

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